I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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