she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
