Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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