His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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