Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
