2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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