you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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