I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was like eating out sand paper
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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