a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
