wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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