Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
her vagine was all disorganized.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
