its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
