You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
