Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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