Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
