You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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