dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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