I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize