i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
