I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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