You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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