Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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