I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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