If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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