Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
