She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
