I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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