it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
