she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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