i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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