So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
