am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
