i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
