This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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