the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize