got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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