It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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