I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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