You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
