OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
