Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
