Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
