why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize