May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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