I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
