Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
