their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
