so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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