I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
