I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
