Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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