His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
