it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
