So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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