This is not my ceiling
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize