Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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