if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
