What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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