I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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