oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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