even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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